Today's TLA is TOM.
Theology of Mariage
"In every study in which Americans are asked what they value most in assessing the quality of their lives, marriage comes first, ahead of friends, jobs, and money. In our fast-paced world men and women need each other more, not less. We want, need erotic love, sympathetic love, passionate love, tender, nurturing love all of our adult lives. We desire friendship, compassion, encouragement, a sense of being understood and appreciated, not only for what we do, but for what we try to do and fail at. We want a relationship in which we can test our half-baked ideas without shame or pretense and give voice to our deepest fears. We want a partner who sees us as unique and irreplaceable."
-"The Good Marriage" by Wallerstein
I was flipping through one of my old books from a college class called "Theology of Marriage" last week and I ran onto this quotation. It is a strikingly deep quotation for me, because I really dug the sentence "We desire friendship, compassion, encouragement, a sense of being understood and appreciated, not only for what we do, but for what we try to do and fail at." Wallerstein gets at the core of marriages and loving relationships. I really like her insight, about having someone there during the times when you fail and when you succeed. Someone needs to be there to say good phrases like "good job, you're the best" (for success), "keeep trying" (for failure), or "... those punks, they suck anyways, ..." (for reassurement after a rejection). These are the times when you need that special woman who can say those words of encouragement. Because guys are simple creatures and we need to be encouraged, reassured, disciplined, cared for, and loved. If not, men would still be at an 8 years old emotional state FOREVER!
It is like a relationship with God, if a woman can respect, and accept you as your unique self, then it is like how God respects and accepts you for your uniqueness, your existence, your humanity, your talents, your flaws, your goodness, and even your badness. An internal security about one's unique self is implied. You want someone where you say, "...its ok to be me when I am with her." I think a man needs to find a woman who does that to his very being and existence. If you find a woman who profoundly encourages a man to be themselves. That's when you say, "I need to be with this woman." Because if you have to put some facade, some alternative personality, some fakeness, some crappy whack a** front, then it is just a game. You just have to keep looking for the next woman who makes you want to be you.
Why would I play games with a woman who I could potentially have a long lasting, friendly, and loving relationship with? If I wanted to play games I would play FIFA, Madden, or Halo 2. These games are certainly more entertaining, and also requires less effort, thought, and feeling. BTW, I have a strong disdain when girls play games, it's just a total turn-off. Why do some girls think the world revolves around them? You know when a guy calls it doesn't always mean he has romantic interest in a girl. Sometimes a guy just wants the girl to be a friend and he honestly cares for her well-being. Does the girl even care about what the guy calling is going through? Probably not. Most guys never have "real friends" who are women. Except maybe a mom and possibly sisters and aunts. Perhaps, I am sharing too much, but whatevers. Just keepin' it real, like raw eal.
Enjoy,
Jonathan
Theology of Mariage
"In every study in which Americans are asked what they value most in assessing the quality of their lives, marriage comes first, ahead of friends, jobs, and money. In our fast-paced world men and women need each other more, not less. We want, need erotic love, sympathetic love, passionate love, tender, nurturing love all of our adult lives. We desire friendship, compassion, encouragement, a sense of being understood and appreciated, not only for what we do, but for what we try to do and fail at. We want a relationship in which we can test our half-baked ideas without shame or pretense and give voice to our deepest fears. We want a partner who sees us as unique and irreplaceable."
-"The Good Marriage" by Wallerstein
I was flipping through one of my old books from a college class called "Theology of Marriage" last week and I ran onto this quotation. It is a strikingly deep quotation for me, because I really dug the sentence "We desire friendship, compassion, encouragement, a sense of being understood and appreciated, not only for what we do, but for what we try to do and fail at." Wallerstein gets at the core of marriages and loving relationships. I really like her insight, about having someone there during the times when you fail and when you succeed. Someone needs to be there to say good phrases like "good job, you're the best" (for success), "keeep trying" (for failure), or "... those punks, they suck anyways, ..." (for reassurement after a rejection). These are the times when you need that special woman who can say those words of encouragement. Because guys are simple creatures and we need to be encouraged, reassured, disciplined, cared for, and loved. If not, men would still be at an 8 years old emotional state FOREVER!
It is like a relationship with God, if a woman can respect, and accept you as your unique self, then it is like how God respects and accepts you for your uniqueness, your existence, your humanity, your talents, your flaws, your goodness, and even your badness. An internal security about one's unique self is implied. You want someone where you say, "...its ok to be me when I am with her." I think a man needs to find a woman who does that to his very being and existence. If you find a woman who profoundly encourages a man to be themselves. That's when you say, "I need to be with this woman." Because if you have to put some facade, some alternative personality, some fakeness, some crappy whack a** front, then it is just a game. You just have to keep looking for the next woman who makes you want to be you.
Why would I play games with a woman who I could potentially have a long lasting, friendly, and loving relationship with? If I wanted to play games I would play FIFA, Madden, or Halo 2. These games are certainly more entertaining, and also requires less effort, thought, and feeling. BTW, I have a strong disdain when girls play games, it's just a total turn-off. Why do some girls think the world revolves around them? You know when a guy calls it doesn't always mean he has romantic interest in a girl. Sometimes a guy just wants the girl to be a friend and he honestly cares for her well-being. Does the girl even care about what the guy calling is going through? Probably not. Most guys never have "real friends" who are women. Except maybe a mom and possibly sisters and aunts. Perhaps, I am sharing too much, but whatevers. Just keepin' it real, like raw eal.
Enjoy,
Jonathan
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home